compulsive cobblestone

so, one might ask, what's the wit saving knit she's up to?
it's a cobblestone. i've nick named it the compulsive cobblestone, re my last post. i've had it planned for two years, for my husband, but was too scared to start - i've never knitted anything adult sized before. this one, i plan to have done by x-mas, as a gift. i sure hope it turns out like the picture here - isn't it great?

fall

the other day, my husband had for some unknown reason set the alarm clock on 'radio'. it goes off at 7 a.m., and a male voice breaks into my sleep with the news of a father who had killed his wife, their 2 weeks old baby, their 6 and 9 year old daughters and himself during the night. they found the bodies scattered over a large area, so one might think that it took him a while to finnish. then the voice goes on the say that there will be no climate deal in mexico this year.
as soon as i had assembled my brain bits from getting blasted all over the bed covers, i considered the options people have when confronted with such things (by some called 'the world'):
a) crawling back under the covers with a knife to finnish it
b) seeing a doctor for a round of antidepressants
c) writing an article for the newspaper, fooling yourself into thinking 'i did something about it'
d) fastening one's blinkers even harder and continue one's compulsive focus on one's little, safe corner of the world (i.e. the size of a post stamp)
i've tried them all, except the obvious (i'm still here).
i still don't know what to do about it when it hits me.
so i don't read the news. i occasionally express some political passion. i sign petitions in hope of a better world. and at times i manically, obsessively, compulsively, care for the little piece of heaven i know, my little safe post stamp in this world. it's easy. it's beautiful, it's love. it's connecting me to a greater whole that i know is there, beyond the cruelty and greed of this world. the best cure for such a morning is to sit down with a cup of tea and knit. but somewhere, there's a great uneasiness stirring.

traveling

has anyone read this book? i loved it. it took me half of the book to love it, until then i found it spending too much space on trivial information insignificant to the story. but then i was hooked. i didn't realize it was a love story until the end, rather, i was fascinated with the cultural references in the book - the music, the literature, the art - and the time theme. 

if you've read it, please let me know what you think. i'm definately not going to see the movie, i heard it was awful and i don't want to ruin this beautiful story.

by the lake lll

by the lake ll

by the lake

we had rain the first day.
but it was oh, so wonderful to be back to this childhood place of mine. i hadn't been there for 17 years (with my husband, the first year of our romance) and before that, 11 years. my children had never been here.
it's the tinyest cottage you can imagine. and the cosiest. no electricity, no plumbing. through the woods and by this lake - all to ourselves (see the tiny red dot on pic no 3? that's it. the only one, around the whole lake). we fished trout for dinner, played cards, listened to the radio, read books, spent hours on the lake, took hikes... so good.
i wouldn't mind coming back here all by myself, with a creative project or two. oh, the quiet.

ephemera

daughter: don't look, i'm making you a present.
mother: ok.
daughter: but - i don't think you'll like it, because it's not going to last. you'll probably throw it away immidiately.
mother: not all things are meant to last, sweetie.
daughter: i know. like people.
...
she had painted me some tissue paper and hung them on a string across the room to dry in the sun.
later that night, after she had gone to sleep, i lay quietly down beside her in her bed. i held her softly and stroke her face and cried.
she knows. like people.
just like that.

**********

we're back from our little trip to the woods and our yearly viking adventure, and i'm currently sorting through my photos. will be back. and no, no one's dying (that i know of) :)